Eyes closed, light grows,
Sunrise, burns the skies,
Fireflies, run, run and hide,
Night fades to the day.
Sleeping hive, now comes alive,
People run, and work is done.
Eagles glide on wings of pride,
And sail the day away.
Crickets sing, and silence rings,
Bats emerge to resume their search,
Sleep does call out to us all,
As night once more is king.
Oh, how I dream that I could be
Within that blessed place
Where all life’s troubles are memories
And no tears stain any face.
I dream of seeing those streets of gold
That line that distant shore
Where His children laugh and sing with Him
And pain is known no more.
My eyes long to see that great city
Where the lion lies down with the lamb
And the broken, despised, and hopeless
Find their rest in the Father’s hand.
I dream of the reunion
With loved ones gone before
And I dream of the unfettered joy
That will cause us to bow and adore.
I dream of the glorious mansion
That awaits me there on that shore,
But most of all, I dream of the One
Who will dance with His bride evermore.
Burning, burning, burning bright
Burning, burning, piercing Light
Burns away the blackest night
Burning, burning, beautiful Light.
Burning, burning deep inside
Burning, burning all my pride
A burning longing felt tonight
Burning, burning, burning bright.
Burning through the evil days
Burning through the darkest haze
Burning freedom from this daze
Burning Beacon in this maze.
Burning heart, now beating free
Burning mind found liberty
Burning eyes now finally see
Just what this Burning did to me.
Sever your ties!
Sever your ties!
It feels like it’s time to move on.
No longer safe,
No longer home,
Melancholy, melancholy.
Weave your lies,
“Everything’s fine,”
“I’ll be back soon.”
Wipe your eyes,
No one has to know,
Turn your back on the sun.
Plastic smile,
A hollow smile,
Empty shell, robbed of life.
Sea of regret,
Past haunts my steps,
Brittle bones washed white and snapping.
All alone,
Leave me be,
How could you possibly say you love me?
Illusion of joy,
Hidden cold shoulder,
Matches the breath in my lungs.
So wretched,
None will accept me,
Don my familiar mask.
Can’t open up,
No one can know,
Everything’s been ruined,
Must leave with no trace.
Leave me be!
Leave me be!
I’m content in my turmoil.
I don’t want sympathy,
I don’t want your help,
Be silent and let me live!
(If you can call this life.)
Not life. Existence.
Not love. Illusions.
Not lost, just tired.
Hope is only a dream;
A NIGHTMARE!!
Fade away,
All alone,
Leave me to my meditations.
Don’t pry.
Don’t disturb.
Don’t offer me anything.
Don’t want advice.
Don’t want a listening ear.
Don’t want anything.
Just want to wander.
Just want to fade.
Just want to…exist.
When I wander, the world disappears.
When I’m alone, gleefully melancholy.
Under the stars, I find rest. I find peace. I find existence.
All I want, All I need, All I pursue.
Just existence.
Just melancholy.
Just misery.
Just…fire.
Burning,
Burning,
Burning alive!
Burning,
Burning,
Burning to nothing.
I endanger you,
Leave me be!
Stay away from me,
For your own good.
I’m a threat.
I’m a loner.
Always have been.
And that’s the way I like it.
Your face is like poison,
It kills me within.
Your death burns like fire,
But I’ll see you again.
Two years have passed,
And much has changed.
Haunted by the past,
My head hangs low in shame.
“Why wasn’t I there?”
“Why didn’t I care?”
But hindsight came much too late.
By the time it sunk in
I could do nothing then
But hold you ’til you slipped away.
You laid there in bed,
With no words that you said,
But my pain spoke as loud as the rain.
So cold…so numb
Not old…too young
Just a shell of skin and bone.
As my tears ran like streams,
The room filled with mom’s screams
And my father finally found his way home.
I love you, dad.
R.I.P. – Terry Austin Morgan (5/22/46 – 11/11/07)
As the stars above dance their dances
My heart seems to rend at the seams
The timeline of life takes no chances
To heal all these broken dreams
Step one, fall two
Up three, back four
Deeds done, fight You
Bow the knee, am restored
My feet become calloused and bruised
As this rut I’m in grows to a trench
Pure Love, thrown down, beaten, abused
Pure Grace, empty fists now are clenched
Pray once, pray twice,
Pray thrice, and again.
Your death, my life,
Is the price of my sin.
What more can I do but surrender
To this Mercy that found me so foul?
Yet, my thoughts, constant tremors, are hindered
As the sweat turns to blood on my brow.
The LORD is mighty and rules over all!
The LORD is worthy, which leads me to fall
Upon my knees when I see HIS face.
He blows me away with the depths of HIS grace.
How do you describe the indescribable?
How do you escape the inescapable?
How do you explain the unexplainable?
How do you bless the Possessor of all?
What songs could I sing, what gifts could I bring
To express the love in my heart?
How unworthy I am even to speak HIS name,
Yet HE loved me even BEFORE the start.
What can be said that HE has not said?
What can be done that HE has not done?
What can be offered that HE has not given?
Where can I go to escape from HIS love?
Why did HE choose me?
Why does HE care?
What moved HIS heart
So much that HE would dare
To die for my sins
And break all my chains?
What can I bring
To glorify HIS name?
LORD, YOU’re awesome, beautiful, and completely delightful.
YOU’re eternal, faithful, good, and HOLY!!
YOU’re invincible, just, Kingly, and loving.
YOU are mighty, near, and omni-everything!
YOU are precious, quick to help, righteous, and sweet,
Transcendent, unbelievable, venerable, and worthy!
YOU’re excellent, yet humble, and zealous for me,
YOU’re my SAVIOR; victorious, and wonderful KING!
YOUR presence is undeniable,
YOUR depths are unsearchable.
YOUR arm is unshrinkable,
YOUR grasp is unshakable.
YOUR power is unparalleled,
YOUR passion, uncontainable.
YOUR love never ends,
And YOU’re always available.
No words can describe YOU,
Yet YOU still hear our cries.
YOU are near to YOUR children,
Yet, dwell far beyond the skies.
YOU spoke all things into existence,
Yet YOU still speak to my heart.
I have no words to say,
Save these: “My GOD, how great THOU art!!”
Why do we allow ourselves to squander hours watching television when the LORD is such a grander sight? Why do we find it easy to spend hours browsing the Internet, but find it to be of the utmost difficulty to spend hours with our Creator? What drives us to update our Facebook status every minute of every day when we barely speak our minds to our FATHER? Did He not give us the eyes with which we watch that computer screen? Why do we settle for prophets who “tickle our ears” when those same ears were given to us to allow us to hear the very voice of GOD? Why do we settle for “crumbs from the Master’s table” when He desires to let us feast until we burst upon the Bread of Life? Why do we consider reading the Word a necessary evil when it truly is the highest of privileges? What is it that causes us to innately be able to distract ourselves with petty pleasures when the Richest of Fare longs to speak into our lives? The LORD sits enthroned above the sphere of the heavens, yet we act as though our own sphere of influence is the only thing which exists in this universe. WHY DO WE WASTE OUR LIVES ON THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF ETERNITY? Many claim to “live for Jesus,” but few actually allow Him to lead their lives and have total dominion. All too often in churches today, the message of the gospel and the very pursuit of God are lost in fancy light shows, state-of-the-art “Worship Centers,” shallow worship, and the pursuit of the “almighty dollar.” When we follow this pattern, we’re merely building castles of sand. The pride I see in the hearts of those around me, whether it be the redeemed or the ones who claim to be, absolutely breaks me. The pride I see in my own heart all to often overshadows my boasting in the LORD, and for this I am ashamed. Where is the fierce longing after YHWH that the fathers of our faith possessed? Where has the fire that filled the bellies of the great evangelists gone today? Where is the deep, sincere WORSHIP, and where are the broken worshipers who bring it? This nation, though founded upon the Rock, has given up its first love in the name of “tolerance,” a desire not to offend, and the task of stockpiling wealth. We need to fall on our faces and beg for mercy from the throne. We are ripe for judgment, not only for the hearty approval we give to godlessness, but even more than that, for the complacency that has settled within our pews. If you claim to be a child of GOD, start acting like it!! Stop making excuses, stop pursuing worldly gain and impure lusts, stop wasting your life, and turn to GOD!! Call on His Name, fall on your face, give Him control, and worship in spirit and truth. Then, get out there and preach the gospel to everything that moves!! That is our mandate. Seek God with every fiber of your being, then share His love with everyone around you. ONLY GOD is worthy to be praised, ONLY GOD is worthy of our worship, ONLY GOD is ALPHA AND OMEGA, ONLY GOD IS GOD!! Seek HIS face, seek HIS face, seek HIS face!! Cry out to HIM!! Fall on your faces and worship!! JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, I LOVE YOU!! CHRIST, CHRIST, CHRIST I NEED YOU!! ABBA, ABBA, ABBA FATHER, HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL, FOR I AM UNCLEAN!! I AM UNWORTHY!! I AM A SINNER!! HAVE MERCY, HAVE MERCY, HAVE MERCY!! I AM UNWORTHY, YET YOU HAVE REDEEMED ME, YOU HAVE CHOSEN ME, YOU LOVE ME!! PRAISE YOU, PRAISE YOU, PRAISE YOU!!! JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!! Oh how I love that name!! JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!! Oh, my LORD, CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME!! May I decrease, so that YOU may increase. I am YOURS, I am YOURS, I am YOURS!! HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, ARE YOU, OH LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!! HOLY, HOLY, HOLY!! The whole earth is FILLED with YOUR GLORY!!! My heart cries HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, ARE YOU AND YOU ALONE!!! LORD, HAVE MERCY! LORD, HAVE MERCY! LORD, HAVE MERCY!! CONSUME ME, MY GOD!! KEEP ME FROM HALF-HEARTED WORSHIP!! KEEP MY FEET FROM WALKING IN THE PATHS OF THE WICKED!! KEEP MY HEART FROM BECOMING CONSUMED WITH THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD, OH LORD, MY GOD!!! CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME!! I AM YOURS!! ABBA, ABBA, ABBA FATHER, LEAD ME INTO YOUR THRONE ROOM!! JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, COVER ME WITH YOUR BLOOD!! HOLY SPIRIT, HOLY SPIRIT, HOLY SPIRIT, GUIDE ME INTO ALL TRUTH!! OH GOD, MY GOD, CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME!! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!! YOU ARE MOST HIGH OVER ALL THE EARTH!! YOUR VOICE SHAKES THE HEAVENS!! YOUR FACE OUTSHINES THE SUN!! YOU ESTABLISHED THE EARTH, AND ONLY BY YOUR GRACE DOES IT STAND!! YOU ARE THE GIVER OF LIFE, AND YOU KNOW THE NUMBER OF OUR DAYS!! YOU WILL NEVER DIMINISH, YOU WILL NEVER BE FAR FROM YOUR PEOPLE, OH GOD!! YOU ALONE ARE HOLY!! YOU ALONE ARE WORTHY!! I SURRENDER TO YOU!! TAKE ME, BREAK ME, USE ME FOR YOUR GLORY!! CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME, CONSUME ME!! MESS ME UP FOR YOUR GLORY!! MESS ME UP FOR YOUR GLORY!!! JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!! ABBA FATHER, JEHOVAH JIREH, MY ROCK AND MY SALVATION, I SURRENDER TO YOUR WILL!! USE ME, LORD!! USE ME, LORD!! USE ME, LORD!!! I cannot praise YOU enough!!! I love YOU, I love YOU, I love YOU!!! Ever shall YOUR NAME be on my lips!! FATHER, HAVE MERCY!! DO NOT ALLOW ME TO WASTE ANY MORE OF MY LIFE!! DO NOT LET ME SETTLE FOR THE CRUMBS FROM YOUR TABLE!! MAY MY HUNGER FOR YOU NEVER BE SATISFIED, MAY MY THIRST FOR YOU NEVER BE QUENCHED!! CONSUME ME, MY LORD!! HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, ARE YOU, OH LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!!! ONLY YOU ARE HOLY, OH LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!!
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ,
Always leads us in TRIUMPH!! In VICTORY!!! In POWER!!
Who will separate us from the love of God which is in Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?…But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
No matter what we come up against, we shall have the victory through Christ.
Even death is victory when Jesus is our Lord and Savior, for He conquered sin and death when He paid the ultimate price upon that cross and rose three days afterward. EVEN NOW He is ruling at the right hand of His Father. Never shall He be defeated, nor shall we as long as He is the One holding us.
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.
A sweet aroma…a head-turning fragrance.
The aroma of victory…the aroma of grace.
When we walk with Him every day, people notice the difference immediately just by being around us.
When we are cursed, we bless them.
When we are hurt, we still reach healing hands out to them.
When we are beaten, we still offer them a loving embrace.
As we are being killed, we ask the Father’s forgiveness on their behalf.
The degree to which we follow after God, seek His face, and hunger and thirst for His Word and His life is the degree to which the fragrance is made known to those around us.
For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other, an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things?
Among those who are lost, among those whose hearts are hard toward the things of God, our sweet fragrance is a burning cancer, a weakling’s crutch, or a fool’s obsession.
It is practically a death warrant to those who are opposed to the God of all. Whether or not they voice it or are even aware, those who have not put their faith and trust in Christ as their one and only Lord and Savior are His enemies, just as we were before our own salvation.
Enemies of God they are, but more than that, the Lord is gracious to them. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” He reaches His hand out time and again to give them the chance to accept Him, but, while He is merciful indeed, He is also just.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Sin separates us from our Creator, and the payment it earns is death. We are sentenced to be forever separated from God, but He “desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” To this end, He offers many chances to those dead in their sins to be brought to life forever. Many times, He uses us to be the instruments of His redemption.
While He chooses to use us, it is not our gift, nor our duty, to bring conviction. Rather, it is the Holy Spirit that brings conviction of sin, it is the victorious fragrance of God that pours out through our lives that sparks a desire for the knowledge of the Lord Most High, and it is the Lord alone that saves us and gives us eternal life. It all begins and ends with Him.
To those who are alive in Christ, however, this fragrance is a source of encouragement, an impetus to fuel the fires of devotion, a holy calling, a priceless gift, and a powerful ally. It is a constant reminder of the beauty of the Creator; a deeply touching, powerfully moving passion that one cannot help but feel humbled by. We can do nothing without Him and His divine guidance and mercy. Not even the life we live is our own, but every day is a gift from God above; we need not waste it on trivial pursuits. It is a glorious honor to be the bearer of such a lofty thing: the very fragrance of GOD!! We must never take it lightly. We must carry the torch with honor and dignity, power and mercy, love and sacrifice, and purity and gratitude until the day the Lord returns or the day calls us home.
====================================================
2 Cor. 2:14; Rom. 8:35, 37; 2 Cor. 2:15-16; Rom. 5:8; 3:23; 6:23; 1 Tim. 2:4
