Narrow

How narrow my focus has been!

Who am I to magnify myself, to put my own desires before the desires of the One Who made the hands that I am typing with, the eyes with which I see, and the mind which is formulating these words as I go?

Why do I settle for frivolity when Eternity is staring me in the face?

Why do I treat this privileged position like dirt?

Why do I fill my day with everything conceivable (and some things not) EXCEPT those things which will never fade?

Why do You tolerate my insolence?

Why do I resign You the back burner when You should be at the forefront?

What can I do to change this pattern?

Where is my love for Your Word? Where is my desire to seek You at the expense of EVERYTHING ELSE?!?

Won’t You spark my passion anew?

Won’t You help me live for You?

Won’t You exalt Yourself in my actions, thoughts, and being?

Won’t You consume my heart and show me that my petty pursuits are MEANINGLESS?

Or am I doomed to be cursed as such until I see You face-to-face?

I’ve become dry (Wash me with Your life)

I cannot comply (Break me down)

I need this old life to die (Raise me with You to life anew)

I want this pattern to fly (Heal my mind and give me focus)

Your face,

Your name,

So worthy!

So why do I push You aside?

May I see things as You do. May Eternity fill my sight and filter all my experiences and attitudes. May I settle for nothing less.

Lord, I come, please hear my plea.

Now, let Your grace wash over me.

Reshape my priorities,

Until Your face is all I see.

Untitled Poem

Sleepless.

Tired eyes, silent cries,

Cloudy skies, hidden lies,

Beaten, battered, bruised,

Blasted, torn down, abused,

Reaching for the break of day,

See nothing but this toxic haze,

Hear that kind Voice softly say,

“I’m here, my child. Don’t be afraid.“

See-Saw.

One step back, then forward again,

Constantly grappling with this vile sin,

Pleasures above seem far away, when

Pleasures below tie up all the loose ends.

What a wretched state to be in,

This deadly dichotomy.

Stalemate.

No advance and no retreat,

Empty hands and calloused feet,

Fighting endlessly in the street

This shadow I cannot seem to beat.

Solstice.

Sunlight shines brightest when I give Him control,

He dispels my darkness, and makes me whole.

Serenity.

Cycle

Eyes closed, light grows,

Sunrise, burns the skies,

Fireflies, run, run and hide,

Night fades to the day.

Sleeping hive, now comes alive,

People run, and work is done.

Eagles glide on wings of pride,

And sail the day away.

Crickets sing, and silence rings,

Bats emerge to resume their search,

Sleep does call out to us all,

As night once more is king.

I Dream

Oh, how I dream that I could be
Within that blessed place
Where all life’s troubles are memories
And no tears stain any face.

I dream of seeing those streets of gold
That line that distant shore
Where His children laugh and sing with Him
And pain is known no more.

My eyes long to see that great city
Where the lion lies down with the lamb
And the broken, despised, and hopeless
Find their rest in the Father’s hand.

I dream of the reunion
With loved ones gone before
And I dream of the unfettered joy
That will cause us to bow and adore.

I dream of the glorious mansion
That awaits me there on that shore,
But most of all, I dream of the One
Who will dance with His bride evermore.

Burning

Burning, burning, burning bright
Burning, burning, piercing Light
Burns away the blackest night
Burning, burning, beautiful Light.

Burning, burning deep inside
Burning, burning all my pride
A burning longing felt tonight
Burning, burning, burning bright.

Burning through the evil days
Burning through the darkest haze
Burning freedom from this daze
Burning Beacon in this maze.

Burning heart, now beating free
Burning mind found liberty
Burning eyes now finally see
Just what this Burning did to me.

Loner

Sever your ties!
Sever your ties!
It feels like it’s time to move on.

No longer safe,
No longer home,
Melancholy, melancholy.

Weave your lies,
“Everything’s fine,”
“I’ll be back soon.”

Wipe your eyes,
No one has to know,
Turn your back on the sun.

Plastic smile,
A hollow smile,
Empty shell, robbed of life.

Sea of regret,
Past haunts my steps,
Brittle bones washed white and snapping.

All alone,
Leave me be,
How could you possibly say you love me?

Illusion of joy,
Hidden cold shoulder,
Matches the breath in my lungs.

So wretched,
None will accept me,
Don my familiar mask.

Can’t open up,
No one can know,
Everything’s been ruined,
Must leave with no trace.

Leave me be!

Leave me be!

I’m content in my turmoil.

I don’t want sympathy,

I don’t want your help,

Be silent and let me live!
(If you can call this life.)

Not life. Existence.

Not love. Illusions.

Not lost, just tired.

Hope is only a dream;
A NIGHTMARE!!

Fade away,
All alone,
Leave me to my meditations.

Don’t pry.
Don’t disturb.
Don’t offer me anything.

Don’t want advice.

Don’t want a listening ear.

Don’t want anything.

Just want to wander.
Just want to fade.
Just want to…exist.

When I wander, the world disappears.
When I’m alone, gleefully melancholy.
Under the stars, I find rest. I find peace. I find existence.

All I want, All I need, All I pursue.

Just existence.

Just melancholy.

Just misery.

Just…fire.

Burning,
Burning,
Burning alive!

Burning,
Burning,
Burning to nothing.

I endanger you,
Leave me be!

Stay away from me,
For your own good.

I’m a threat.

I’m a loner.

Always have been.

And that’s the way I like it.

Memorial

Your face is like poison,

It kills me within.

Your death burns like fire,

But I’ll see you again.

Two years have passed,

And much has changed.

Haunted by the past,

My head hangs low in shame.

“Why wasn’t I there?”

“Why didn’t I care?”

But hindsight came much too late.

By the time it sunk in

I could do nothing then

But hold you ’til you slipped away.

You laid there in bed,

With no words that you said,

But my pain spoke as loud as the rain.

So cold…so numb

Not old…too young

Just a shell of skin and bone.

As my tears ran like streams,

The room filled with mom’s screams

And my father finally found his way home.

I love you, dad.

R.I.P. – Terry Austin Morgan (5/22/46 – 11/11/07)

Ramblings

As the stars above dance their dances

My heart seems to rend at the seams

The timeline of life takes no chances

To heal all these broken dreams

 

Step one, fall two

Up three, back four

Deeds done, fight You

Bow the knee, am restored

 

My feet become calloused and bruised

As this rut I’m in grows to a trench

Pure Love, thrown down, beaten, abused

Pure Grace, empty fists now are clenched

 

Pray once, pray twice,

Pray thrice, and again.

Your death, my life,

Is the price of my sin.

 

What more can I do but surrender

To this Mercy that found me so foul?

Yet, my thoughts, constant tremors, are hindered

As the sweat turns to blood on my brow.

Protected: Uncertainty

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Musings

The LORD is mighty and rules over all!
The LORD is worthy, which leads me to fall
Upon my knees when I see HIS face.
He blows me away with the depths of HIS grace.

How do you describe the indescribable?
How do you escape the inescapable?
How do you explain the unexplainable?
How do you bless the Possessor of all?

What songs could I sing, what gifts could I bring
To express the love in my heart?
How unworthy I am even to speak HIS name,
Yet HE loved me even BEFORE the start.

What can be said that HE has not said?
What can be done that HE has not done?
What can be offered that HE has not given?
Where can I go to escape from HIS love?

Why did HE choose me?
Why does HE care?
What moved HIS heart
So much that HE would dare
To die for my sins
And break all my chains?
What can I bring
To glorify HIS name?

LORD, YOU’re awesome, beautiful, and completely delightful.
YOU’re eternal, faithful, good, and HOLY!!

YOU’re invincible, just, Kingly, and loving.
YOU are mighty, near, and omni-everything!

YOU are precious, quick to help, righteous, and sweet,
Transcendent, unbelievable, venerable, and worthy!

YOU’re excellent, yet humble, and zealous for me,
YOU’re my SAVIOR; victorious, and wonderful KING!

YOUR presence is undeniable,
YOUR depths are unsearchable.

YOUR arm is unshrinkable,
YOUR grasp is unshakable.

YOUR power is unparalleled,
YOUR passion, uncontainable.

YOUR love never ends,
And YOU’re always available.

No words can describe YOU,
Yet YOU still hear our cries.

YOU are near to YOUR children,
Yet, dwell far beyond the skies.

YOU spoke all things into existence,
Yet YOU still speak to my heart.

I have no words to say,
Save these: “My GOD, how great THOU art!!”