The deep inner workings of a beggar's mind


“Foolish boy!” cries the voice in my head.
“You cannot return life to the dead.”
Nevertheless, I give my all.
Blood, sweat, and tears from my head do fall.
Screaming, scraping, searching, waiting.
Hoping, praying, falling, fading.
Seeking a way out of this maze,
Forever wandering in this haze,
Crying, tearing, staring, burning.
Losing, wearing, daring, turning.
No release from this I find,
No respite here to clear my mind.
Wrapped in a crippling shroud of defeat,
Colorless eyes in a crowded street,
Trembling hands and wandering feet,
Leave me breathless under a cold bed sheet.
No more strength lives in these bones,
As my Father comes and carries me home.

11 responses

  1. Hi, I saw your comment on Kenny’s and so I thought I’d venture over to your blog. Seriously, I had to comment.

    What vivid, form. I literally can feel the pain while reading it. It’s really good, and really striking.

    I just had to say.

    August 14, 2008 at 09:37

  2. Kenneth

    awesome poem man. seriously. real.

    August 14, 2008 at 17:39

  3. Kenneth

    hehe you were right our poems did sinc up quite nicely

    August 15, 2008 at 00:04

  4. Peter

    Hey remember to keep up with the Lord in prayer and in the word. You need to be lifted up instead of writing stuff like this poem. It kinda hurt me when I found out you where like this. Please let me know if I can help out in any way.

    August 15, 2008 at 03:33

  5. Loren Fay.

    hey, idk that person peter or whatever.. but that’s not very nice with what he said. don’t feel bad at all about writing this way. its a brilliant release & this is one of the most lovely, interesting, touching, trying/pressing, intruiging & extremely heart-string-tugging things uv writen. its really beautiful in many ways :) & so areu as a human being & u should never let someone put u down with ur writing. its all been really lovely.

    August 17, 2008 at 00:57

  6. Peter


    I wasn’t trying to be rude while commenting on the poem but when I see something like this it can really hurt me as to when I normally see Brian as an on fire for God person. I like it that he posted this because then I would have never known he was going through whatever he is going through. I’m not trying to put him down but just trying to help him out on what he should be doing to not become this way. :)

    August 17, 2008 at 22:56

  7. kenneth

    Allow me to interject. I am a practicing christian. And the reality is that poems like this aren’t always signs of depression or a downward slope, instead they are a mark of guilt, desperation for God’s touch, and repentance. When a christian feels guilt you can be sure that it is the holy spirit that is convicting him. Someday he will read this and remember where he was but also how God delivered him as he believed and wrote that he would.

    even if one line the redeeming qualities exist in this poem in a powerful way

    August 17, 2008 at 23:28

  8. Loren Fay

    amen to kenny <3

    seriously, keep your chin up my dear. i love every bit of every word my lucky eyes have ever gotten to read from you. there are wonderful qualities in this of which i know whenever you re-read it again one day it will lift you up & others too who can relate to such situations as this ones emotions convey.i 2nd every bit of what kenny just said.

    ha, this is probably the most youve had ‘comment wise’ on one poem LAWL. nice little convo we got goin here!! :)

    im praying for you, as always. look forward to new stuff.. every day actually lol. i check it every day, like uhh twice haha. sometimes i dont comment until ive re-read it a few times though.

    August 18, 2008 at 00:08

  9. kenneth

    psalm 77

    August 19, 2008 at 01:47

  10. RJ

    wow dude this is quite amazing

    August 20, 2008 at 14:37

  11. Eowyn

    Wow. Great imagery.

    October 7, 2008 at 02:54

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