The deep inner workings of a beggar's mind

Nocturne

Every day I see your face,
It pains me deep within.
Every time I hear your voice,
Regret removes the pin
I’ve held so carefully in
To keep my heart from exploding
Like that grenade.
Past mistakes hold my mind captive
When I should be holding them.
You try to help, but it burns inside
Leaving scars I cannot hope to hide.
How did I let it come to this?

I hear Your voice softly on the breeze
Or is it just fleeting, wishful thought?
Uncertainty colors my steps
As my mind is aflame: a grand firestorm.
The two flames, in my heart and in my head
Are conflicting, each burning a different piece
Of my resolve ever away.
The loving Arms I’ve so blindly ignored
Ever are reaching to embrace me.
Will I receive them,
Or continue dwelling in the darkness
I’ve grown to know and accept?

I dare say peace evades me
While Peace seeks me out.
My blind eyes and failing heart
Would supplant me if not for Grace.
It is that Grace I cling to,
Though logic seems ever to point to the fire
That is so well deserved.
My defense is weak,
While my Defender is more powerful
Than even the fiercest, hottest flames
Could ever dream to be.
I find my rest in the hands of the Potter.

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2 responses

  1. Intense. Wow…

    October 24, 2008 at 00:34

  2. kenneth

    The habits of our sin nature are indeed crippling. I really loved this poem

    October 26, 2008 at 17:37

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