The deep inner workings of a beggar's mind

Sick

I’m sick of my complacency,

I’m sick of all the lies.

I’m sick of all my failures,

I’m sick of all the tries.

I’m sick of the façades I wear

When everyone’s around.

I’m sick of wanting nothing more

Than pleasure’s golden crown.

I’m sick of the rejection

That I fear awaits me now.

I need a place to run away

And shout out “HELP” so loud.

I’m sick of all the superficial

Friends that I’ve accrued.

I’m sick of all the pain I’ve caused

And that which is still due.

I’m sick of my half-hearted tries

To please the holy God

And my wholehearted disregard

To finish my tasks upon this sod.

I’m sick of my own efforts

To fight through life alone.

I’m sick of all the times

I never call you on the phone.

I’m sick of my crippling weakness

In temptation’s evil face.

I’m sick of all the muddy ground

I find here in this race.

I’m sick of the weary eyes

That long to fill with tears

I’m sick of the need to appear to be strong

In the eyes of all my peers.

I’m sick of all the apathy

That so pervades my life

And all the misplaced priorities

That fill my heart with strife.

So I bid a fond adieu

To all my dreams and hopes

And pray that soon the morning dew

Will cleanse my pain and let me cope.

I’m sick of my complacency,

I’m sick of all the lies.

I’m sick of all my failures,

I’m sick of all the tries.

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4 responses

  1. You’ve brought this upon yourself…

    April 29, 2009 at 22:47

  2. ((HUGS)) I’m here for you if ever you need a friend.

    April 30, 2009 at 00:10

  3. Benjamin

    I’m at a loss for words really.. Of course I have no idea exactly what you’re going through.. I hope you find someone to talk to about all this. I don’t really expect it to be me. You will be in my prayers.. God bless you brother.

    April 30, 2009 at 00:35

  4. kenneth

    I have been there. Plenty of times. Recently. 1 Corinthians 10:13

    May 6, 2009 at 15:38

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