The deep inner workings of a beggar's mind

Talmidim (The Servants)

Once again, I find myself in a strange place. But it’s not a bad place. It’s that place of reckoning, that place of release. Like something inside has been sleeping, dormant, ineffective. However, something’s different now. It’s a quiet awakening, a quiet resolve. Like I don’t wanna stay here, but it hasn’t registered in my members yet. But there is a stirring. It’s not much, but it’s good. No longer listless, no longer content. There is more, and I want it. I’m tired of the same old thing.

Ezekiel 36:25-27 – “Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances.”

So now I am at a crossroads. I can choose to do nothing, ignore this feeling and let it pass. Or I can choose to listen. I can choose to let Him change me and bring me back from my complacency, or I can return to my routine. I can seek His face, turn from my sin and the demons of my past and allow Him to rekindle the flame inside, or I can keep wasting time on things that are worthless. So what will I do? Will I listen? Or will I continue down this destructive path?

“Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess Your name.”
“Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess Your name.”

My life is not my own. I gave that up a long time ago. So why do I act like it’s mine? One might say it’s our natural inclination, and, while true, our natural inclination is toward death. Toward destruction. And we don’t just drift toward it, we run our legs off trying to get there. For what purpose? Don’t we care about our lives? Don’t we realize what we’re doing to ourselves and those around us?

My life was bought with a heavy price. The heaviest possible. Christ, in His great love, gave His life for me. He died to open my eyes and cleanse my heart. He died to rectify the relationship between us and our Father. Why have I reduced it to a trite blessing? Why do I behave like a thankless, spoiled brat instead of a child of the King? A co-heir with Christ? It’s not all about me. It never was. Yet, it’s so easy to treat it as such. Since God chose me for a purpose, why in God’s name do I feel like I can just grind away wasting my life on other things? Why do I act like God owes me ANYTHING?! Don’t I realize how FOOLISH and SELFISH that is?! We’re so arrogant at times.

Ezekiel 36:22-23 – “…Thus says the Lord GOD, ‘It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for My holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you went. I will vindicate the holiness of My great name which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst. Then the nations will know that I am the LORD,’ declares the Lord GOD, ‘when I prove Myself holy among you in their sight…'”

So am I truly worthy to possess His name? No one really is. Nothing we could ever do in a thousand lifetimes could MAKE us worthy to possess His name, because it’s not about “being good,” it’s about GRACE!! God, in His infinite wisdom and power, CHOSE us. He called, and His sheep heard His voice. He revealed Himself, and we responded. He not only snatched us out of the very mouth of Hell, but He gave us a commandment. We are not called to just “get saved.” Getting saved is just the first part. It’s only the awakening. He calls us to spread His kingdom to the far corners of the world. To preach the gospel to every living thing.

What will we do to show God that we are thankful, not just about our “Get Out of Hell Free Card,” but about our privileged role in His kingdom? When will we rise up out of our comfortable pews and get our hands dirty? When will we seek God above all else? What will it take to unsettle us? Will it take another tragedy to get us to move? May it never be, Lord!! We’re eager to help when tsunamis hit. We’re eager to collect food for the hungry. We cannot stand by when terrorism rears its ugly head. But, what about when everything is more or less breezy? We’re not so eager to move then. We can’t even be bothered to knock on our neighbors’ doors and tell them that Jesus loves them. So what’s wrong with us? As we spend hours arguing over what color our walls should be and what kinds of music we should allow in our services, MILLIONS die and go to a hopeless eternity.

We have the answers the world is seeking, yet we hoard them for ourselves. We hear the truth on a weekly basis, but we just store it away in our little notebooks for when we need some encouragement or direction. How irresponsible. Believe me, I’m just as guilty of it as anyone else. What happened to pursuing God and seeking HIS glory above all else? What happened to being His hands and His feet? What happened to our holy mandate? What happened to our will to stay the course, even if it would mean giving up our own lives? Did we ever see God’s will as being so important?

“…And when we speak life, life happens. And when we speak healing, healing happens…And when we go and take what we found to a dead world, we’ll see it come to life again. When we take what we’ve found to a hopeless world, we’ll see hope come back. We’ll see the heart of our world start beating again, and we’ll see the color come back into people’s faces, and absolutely nothing will ever stop that. Mountains will move before us, and oceans will part before us, and the dead will raise before us, and the world will know that our God is a God that heals, that our God is a God that lives, and our God is a God that loves unlike anything anyone has ever felt before…”

The ONLY hope the world has is Christ. The only way they will hear is if someone tells them. The only ones who know the truth are those who have been redeemed by the Immortal.

So what will we do?

“Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess Your name.”
“Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess Your name.”

“I have given you a new life. Don’t waste it.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s